The Medium Sized Greek-ish Wedding
by NicolaQ
Summary: Quora: What up dawgs? I just got, the craziest idea, EVER: what if we fast forwarded a few years and got Solaceangelo, Percabeth and Frazel engaged and married? A heck lot of people: Yeah right. If they lived that long. Quora: EXACTLY! So if they did , I think it should go a little something like this...
1. Chapter 1

Solaceangelo and the Stygian iron ring.

(A/N: I had to start with this guy. Get the weird, funny stuff over with first, right?)

Nico was sweating the Phlegathon.

This is weird, even for me, he thought.

As he walked to Will's archery lessons, he didn't know what to do. He'd seen different monsters, gone through Tartarus, and faced so many forms of death, and he was shitting bricks about a simple proposal?

Okay, calm down. It's been five years. He might've been expecting it, Nico thought.

Wait,

Too late to cut and run because when he got there Kayla spotted him. "Hey Will, your patient's here." Kayla teased.

Ohh kay.

"What's up sunshine? You look sick." Will said.

"Um— I—"

Yep, that's it.

"I got you a new— um— bow. You know, for your archery lessons— and whatever. Close your eyes." Nico said.

Will sighed. "You know, we've been dating for five years and I keep asking myself, "What dragged me into this?"" Will said. And he closed his eyes.

Thank you Hephaestus cabin! Nico thought as he brought forth his Stygian iron ring.

"William Phaethon Solace, the number one annoyance of my life, " Nico started and breathed. "Will you rule with me in my ghost kingdom as a fellow ghost king, and marry me?"

Will exclaimed a few words that were definitely not divine, but in a good way. Someone from the crowd was like"bitch whaaaat?"

"Yes, Nicolas, but please don't stop being weird." Will said.

"Trust me, there's plenty more where that came from." Nico said and— you know what? Use your imagination.


	2. Percabeth

Percabeth Proposal (I ran out of ideas.)

A whole seven years now, Percy thought.

A whole seven years now, Annabeth thought.

Athena's so going to kill me,

This is awkward,

The two bumped into each other.

"Hey!" They said.

""I have something to tell you. No I have something to tell you. Come on. STOP READING MY MIND!""

They calmed down a bit after that.

"So, how's— stuff?" Percy asked.

"Well— you know. Stuffy." Annabeth replied.

They stayed in silence for about three minutes.

"As I said; I have something to tell you." Percy said.

"I also have tell something you— I mean something for you to tell. I mean, something to tell you. Gods, you're making me lose brain cells!" Annabeth said.

"As if your IQ isn't high enough already?" Percy asked sarcastically.

"One of us has to be the smart one here. We should just say it at the same time." Annabeth suggested.

"Okay then." Percy said.

1\. 2. 3.

"Will you marry me—"

"I'm breaking up with you." Annabeth said.

"Oh. Right." Percy said sadly.

"GOT YA! Of course I'll marry you. You should've seen the look on your face." Annabeth said and laughed.

"I think I liked you better when you were boring." Percy said, smiling.

"Well then, better get used to this." Annabeth said and— use your imagination.


	3. Roman Rings!

Did I Mention Zhavesque Are Engaged?

"Centurion Hazel?" Frank called.

"Yes; Preator Zhang?" Hazel answered.

"It has come to my attention that since our last meeting, I forgot to say a lot of things." Frank said; dead serious.

Hazel was a bit scared. "Like what?"

Let's get the music playing baby!

"Did I mention; that I'm in love with you

And did I mention; that there's nothing I can do

And did I happen to say

I dream of you everyday

I wanna shout it out loud; if that's okay?"

Hazel smiled. "That's okay."

"I've met this girl who rocked my world like it's never been rocked

And now I'm living just for her and I won't ever stop

I never thought that this could happen to a guy like me

But hey look at what you've done you've got me down on my knees."

He really was— that last part.

"My love for you is Ridiculous

I never knew—"

"Who knew?" Audience asked.

"That it could be like this.

My love for you is Ridiculous!

My love is R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S," Frank.

"R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S." Audience.

"It's—"

"Ridiculous."

"Just—"

"Ridiculous."

"And I would give all of New Rome for just one kiss

Come on now."

And she did.

"Hazel Lavesque; will you be my Hera; excluding all the jealousy and all?" Frank asked.

Everyone was like Awww.

Hazel gold eyes really looked gold now. "Yes. But seriously; Hazel Zhang seems kinda plain."

"How about Zhavesque?"

"Perfect."

As if to show he was okay with it; A gold ring popped out of the ground. Hazel picked it up and slipped it onto her finger.

When I am king

Dilly dilly

You shall be queen.


	4. You have got to be kidding me

No one embraces the weird.

_A/N: Ah, weddings. I have serious issues with them. _

_Unfortunately; My job requires me to know about every single wedding in the world. But I like to keep track of all the funny ones._

_And, oh holy freaking shit; Solaceangelo's wedding was the funniest of them all._

For everyone's convenience; the weddings were held on the same day. Hera was conducting the ceremony.

As Solaceangelo walked down to Hera; their procession song was The Other Side.

"You will pay for this, Hades." Hera cursed.

The dark man just smiled.

Annabeth chuckled.

Hera frowned. "You're next, child of Athena.

"I'll try to finish quickly so I don't throw up. Just thinking about— this— makes me wonder how you met. Nico here suffered quite a lot of heartbreaks, most especially from Perseus— yeesh— before finding someone who commanded him to take better care of himself. Nicolas found love in his complete opposite. A son of Hades marrying a son of Apollo. What an atrocity— I mean; beautiful coincidence.

"William Solace; do you still want to marry Nico Di Angelo; knowing that if you make him angry enough he can turn you into a ghost or send you to hell?" Hera asked sympathetically.

"Yes." Will said.

"Did I mention he can also banish you to Tartarus? He can do that. Are you still going to go ahead with this?" Hera asked.

"Yes." Will said.

Hera sighed. "I will pay you four thousand drachmas to tell the truth and walk away. Do you really want to do this?"

"I swear by my dad Apollo; I'm not kidding when I say; I love you, Nico Di Angelo."

Hera was close to throwing up now.

"And I'm sure you feel the same way, Nicolas?" Hera asked, gagging.

"Yes." Nico said, smiling coldly.

Nico stepped a teensy bit closer to Will.

"YOU MAY NOT KISS THE GROOM!" Absolutely everyone else shouted.

"Nico, we love you, but come on." Hazel said.

"Nicolas, you are to walk ten steps behind Will. End of story. Or I will smack you back to Lotus Casino!"


	5. R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S

R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S.

"Perseus, of all your options; why did you choose Audrey Kowalski—"

"Annabeth Chase, cow eyes." Anna said.

"As you mortals say; what-evar!

"You had much better options; Calypso, Reyna Ramírez-Arellano, even Rachel Elizabeth Dare. But no. You just had to be blind enough to fall for this disrespectful Arthur Richard—"

"Annabeth Chase!" Anna said.

"—who can not survive without you. Her whole existence is because of you—"

"That we can agree on." Percy said.

Anna shot him a warning look.

"No. Seriously. For once she's right; If it weren't for Percy, you would've died from carrying the weight of the sky. If it weren't for Percy, you'd still be in Tartarus. If it weren't for Percy—"

"Would you please stop being a—"

That I shall not repeat.

"See! A perfect girl! What is your name, perfect girl?" Hera asked.

"Andrea Jackson," Andrea said. "Daughter of Hebe."

"See! She's even my granddaughter! She looks like my granddaughter too. Beauty, elegance, sassyness; a truly perfect girl! Perseus I will pay you to get married to her instead of Zelda Brook—"

"Annabeth Chase, you pile of cow manure! And no. I chose this wise girl for myself; I chose my own death sentence. You will not choose it for me, like you did the last time. All your efforts to separate us have only brought us closer together. You're just jealous 'cause your husband's cheated on you like what— ten thousand times now? So focus on your work, alpha bitch; you're not ruining my life again." Percy said.

"GO PERCY! GO PERCY! GO PERCY! GO PERCY! GO PERCY! GO PERCY! GO PERCY! GO PERCY! GO PERCY! GO PERCY! BA-BURN!" The crowd cheered.

"Ba-Ba-Burn.

She got what she deserve.

Ba-Ba-Burn.

The hungry queen just got served!" The muses sang.

Hera decided she better do this quickly or she'd completely lose her dignity.

"Do you Robin Kutzberg—"

"Annabeth Chase, bitch! A-N-N-A-B-E-T-H! Remember my name!" Anna said.

"They be asking; Who that?

Who that?

That do that?

Do that?

She be the A-N-N-A, put her name in bold

Athena up here with some change to throw." Muses.

And there was 🎵24 karat magic in the air!🎵

After the shower of gold, Hera continued.

"Do you, Annabeth Chase, take Perseus Jackson, to be, against all odds, your irrationality lawfully wedded husband?" Hera asked.

"Yes." Anna said.

"And do you, Perseus Jackson, take this disgrace of an Athena spawn, Adrian Peterson, to be your annoyance until the six months before you two can be divorced?" Hera asked.

"I don't." Percy said.

Everyone was like: Athenian Gasp!

"Because she's not Adrian Peterson, she's Annabeth Chase. She's not a disgrace; she's the grace of my life. And we are definitely not getting divorced. So on all that; I accept." Percy said.

Now everyone was like: Spartan Aww.

Which was rare because Spartans were complete freakazoids.

"Okay then. You are officially married. Can you please get out of the premises before you kiss? I'm sure deep, deep down, Reyna and Calypso want nothing more than to kill you. And I do not want to upset my granddaughter; she was so close to marrying a true hero." Hera said.


	6. Mars Goes Full Commando

Frazel Pre Ceremony Blues.

**A/N: Sorry, guys. I've just been suuuuuper lazy. Then I remembered the wise words of Perseus Jackson:**

"**You're Apollo. We need you. You can do this. Besides, if you don't, I will personally throw you off the top of the Empire State Building."**

**That's Riordan, not me. I wish I were that awesome.**

Everything went well during the ceremony.

Ugggggh.

Boring.

But that was because of what happened before the ceremony!

Hazel and Frank were freaking out.

"Oh my gods. It's today. TODAY!" Hazel panicked.

She was pacing around like crazy. Meaning if anyone were there, they would've become millionaires overnight.

"Calm down—"

"_CALM DOWN? HOW DARE YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN? DON'T I HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE FREAKED OUT HERE?_" Hazel barked.

"You do know I'm the god here," Pluto squeaked.

Hazel sighed.

As per Daughter Of Pluto she wore a gold dress. Like it was literally gold. Took all Hephaestus's time but it was worth it; for twenty minutes Aphrodite and him were back on speaking terms!

Anyway,

"Frank's not a bad person—"

"They say marriage changes people. Even gods." Hazel said. Then she gasped. "W-what if_ I _change?"

"Hazel—"

"What if because I change Frank changes worse?"

"Hazel—"

"What if he starts to act like Ares and—"

"Hazel Lavesque." Pluto said. "You are going to be fine."

"I—"

"It is my turn to talk.

"Franklin Zhang will never stop loving you. I will make sure of that. The reason gods cheat is that we live forever. You mortals, most especially demigods, have a much, much shorter lifespan. We start to get tired. Things become— what do you kids say?— Boring. Then we explore other options.

"Now do not start thinking your marriage is also going to be boring. You are demigods. Your lives, no matter how short they are, are usually well spent and full of action. Gods are quite lazy in that department. That— again— is why we cheat.

"Frank killed a whole city of kabokleps for you. He trusted you with his lifeline. Hazel; if I could choose the most successful couple, it would be you. Your relationship is already so strong, but marriage makes it stronger."

"Like the wolf house. Your strength is tested before you get the real thing!"

"That's the spirit! Now are you still freaking out?"

"Yeah. Just not so much anymore!"

"Perfect. It took all my influence to get Vulcan to make that dress. Venus and him can't easily stand the sight of each other."

Frank would've gained all his baby sumo-wrestler fat back in twenty minutes if he weren't sweating out that much at the same time.

"Seriously? What's my problem? I've been waiting for this day my whole life. But—"

"Frank Zhang!" Mars said.

"Sir." Frank said.

"Did I just hear quitter talk?"

"N-no sir."

"Don't you lie to me. You're nervous about the wedding."

"Yes sir."

"Does that make sense— a child of Rome, Mars to be exact— nervous?"

"You're saying that like you've never been nervous in your life."

#SlapfromMars.

"Ow—"

"This is not about me! Now listen to me; I haven't been married, but for all Venus has been saying; it's terrible. The worst thing you can ever imagine."

Frank gulped.

"It's a quest that can never end— and the most dangerous one too." Mars said.

Frank was really considering running away— again. He'd already run from Camp Jupiter to Chinatown.

"But what do Romans know about quests?" Mars asked.

"They're— difficult and very dangerous, but we always conquer them?" Frank said.

"Now that's what I'm talking about! Who are you?" Mars asked.

"Franklin Zhang." Frank squeaked.

"Wrong answer. Who. Are. You?"

"A Roman."

"What are Romans?"

"Romans are winners; not quitters."

"Repeat it!"

"Romans are winners; not quitters!"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU—"

"ROMANS ARE WINNERS NOT QUITTERS!"

"THAT'S MY BOY!"

"YEAH!"

"NOW GET BACK IN THERE AND MARRY HAZEL LIKE A BOSS!"

"SIR YES SIR!"

Their entry and departure music was Man Don't Dance by Big Shaq.

And people lived okay-ish ever after!


End file.
